Sunday, 22 January 2012

Now that both children are in school full time, I have been struggling with the option to go back to work.  I really don’t know what to do.  I know I HATE cleaning and it has become 90% of my job around here – and is never appreciated or usually even noticed…just expected.  I know I love being at home to be able to run errands and appointments during the day, handle the tasks set forth by the Scouting Group we volunteer with, being sure my home is well cared for, and maybe even accomplish a project or two.

I am very fortunate in my situation.  I don’t HAVE to work.  My husband brings home enough that I can comfortably stay home and, although we can’t live like royalty, we have all that we need.  I am also fortunate in that over the last few months, I have been approached by many different organizations who would like me to come back to work with them.  They are willing, for the most part, to let me pick and choose my hours and amount I would like to work.  If I do go back to work, I could hire a housekeeper to come in once or twice a week to handle the major cleaning leaving me with only the day-to-day stuff (although I find it difficult to pay someone $40/hour to scrub my toilets – not to mention the guilt over not being able to do it all).

What to do, what to do.

I have discussed this with Hubby and kids.  C was all for it, so long as nothing changed on her end – other than different chores and R was on board so long as I was there to walk him to and from school.  Hubby was harder to read.  He seems happy for me no matter what I decide.  I don’t know if he’s just being supportive or if he’s wanted me to go back all along and was being supportive then.  Whatever he feels, he’s not sharing and he wants me to do what I think is best.  It’s great that he’s that wonderful but I really need an opinion right now.  I know he doesn’t want to give it because he knows I’ll do what he thinks and he wants me to make this decision for me.

Anyone else struggling with this?  What made you decide?  How did you know your decision was right for you?

Take Care, D

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The Not-So-Secret Confessions of a First Time Mom
Mommy of Two Little Monkeys

Friday, 6 January 2012

I love it when we’re sitting at the kitchen table or in the family room and the TV is off.  Often this is when I get to hear what’s going on in my kids’ lives.  This is when I take the time to listen and perhaps impart a few words of wisdom or share a story from my past to relate, or even just sit and listen.  This is especially important now when C is growing into some more social issues and is more independent.  We don’t sit and do crafts together much anymore, nor do we cuddle on the sofa and tell each other our wishes and dreams.  It’s even difficult sometimes to get her to play games with us.  These chats really don’t happen often enough.  But every now and then... it’s golden.

Last night, the topic that came up was drugs and alcohol.  C swears she does not do drugs nor does she drink alcohol and I believe her.  I do know that as a teen, it does come up in conversation with some of the kids at school, and I really want to keep open communication about it at home.
My extended family has had issues with drugs both in the teen years and in adult years.  Drugs have messed up their lives.  Some of them talk about how much they feel they’ve lost from those years.  How their thinking and speech has suffered even now when they try to use skills or terms they know they’ve learned or experienced but simply can’t recall them.  It has changed their behaviours and impacted their decision-making skills.  Those are the family members who are now clean.  Some still use and some place more importance on their drugs than their family or children.  Some have criminal records.

I don’t want any of that for my children.  I have allowed C to be a part of discussions with some of the recovering addicts so that she can hear some of what they went through and patterns that occurred.  I know that people often feel invincible or that these things won’t happen to them but I hope I got across to her that things become unpredictable when drugs are involved because it alters thought processes and decision-making.
When we had the conversation last night, I am proud of her outlook on drugs and alcohol.  She is noticing things in school with other kids and is not impressed by their behaviours.  I hope that by keeping our communications about these hot topics open I'll be able to spot changes in her outlooks and ideas to pick up on potential issues before they become issues...hopefully.

So far, she doesn’t see it as cool.  That’s cool with me. 

Take Care, D

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